Is your church overstretched and understaffed?  Then what your parish needs is Robo-vic the world’s first ordained robot and fully-automated vicar. ‘Fess up, Vicar  – so much of your work is time-wasting repetitive routine – conducting services, reading prayers and lessons , processions , taking collections, etc done by rote and force of habit without any spiritual engagement whatever.

Why go through the motions when the motions can be gone through for you?  RoboVic  can kneel , bless and wave his arms about with the best of them. With him doing all the boring stuff  you could be out on your pastoral visits and having tea and lardy cake with old ladies and doing all the fun things which go with the priesthood. AND you could have Sundays off . Robo-Vic is an idea from Quot Technologies  whose time has come – licensed to forgive sins and conduct weddings and funerals.This life-sized but convincingly weedy clerical robot has been pre-programmed to word-perfection in all liturgy and holy writ with an exhaustive repertoire of psalms and hymns which come complete with heavenly choir and organ accompaniment. Sorry, Vicar, but it’s better than the real thing but – at last –  an answer to your prayers . (Warning . Restricted preaching : RoboVic cannot climb stairs to a pulpit.)